Conflict Resolution and Forgiveness
Matthew 18:15-35
If Your Brother Sins Against You
"'If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two of three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.'"
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything." And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, "Pay what you owe." So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you." He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, "You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?" And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.'"
O.K. I think this will be enough for 2 days! So today Conflict and tomorrow Forgiveness!
Let's look at a few other passages in terms of Resolving Conflict!
Matthew 7:1-5
Judging Others
"'Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.'"
Before we confront, we must remove the log from our own eye. We must check our hearts and the reason why we want to confront someone! Are we confronting out of Love or Anger, because we were hurt, or because we want to help the other person realize that what they had done was hurtful to others?
We should approach with questions like, "Please explain to me why you said/did this?" Not, "Hey, you were really mean to me and I don't like what you said/did!"
Matthew 5:23-24
"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
Resolve Conflict before worship!
We should leave no chink in the armor, it is to easy for Satan to detract us from worship. If we have settled the conflict, that wont be able to distract us from complete 100% focus on God!
Now back to the above passage Matthew 18:15-17
1. Talk to the person who has done the offending! Vs. 15 as well as Matt 7:1-5
They may not even realize that they have offended you! Also, if you don't talk to them, what you say to others about them could turn into gossip (which is a sin). It is also sinful not to confront -- vs. 15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone." Jesus commanded it!
2. If the offender doesn't listen to you, get 2 or 3 others (preferably Pastors or Elders or Respect People of God) involved.
3. If the offender still doesn't listen, take it to the body of believers as a whole.
4. If they still don't listen, they are to be treated as Gentiles, meaning those not within the Body of Believers. (Yes, this is harsh, but they were given plenty of opportunity. However this doesn't excluded us from forgiving them, which we will talk about tomorrow.)
Quick recap!
1. Check our own heart!
2. Confront before we worship...and if we are living a life of worship...that should be as soon as possible!
3. If they don't listen one-on-one get a few others involved, and last step the whole body.
Tomorrow.....Forgiveness!
In Christ,
David
If Your Brother Sins Against You
"'If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two of three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.'"
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything." And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, "Pay what you owe." So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you." He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, "You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?" And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.'"
O.K. I think this will be enough for 2 days! So today Conflict and tomorrow Forgiveness!
Let's look at a few other passages in terms of Resolving Conflict!
Matthew 7:1-5
Judging Others
"'Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.'"
Before we confront, we must remove the log from our own eye. We must check our hearts and the reason why we want to confront someone! Are we confronting out of Love or Anger, because we were hurt, or because we want to help the other person realize that what they had done was hurtful to others?
We should approach with questions like, "Please explain to me why you said/did this?" Not, "Hey, you were really mean to me and I don't like what you said/did!"
Matthew 5:23-24
"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
Resolve Conflict before worship!
We should leave no chink in the armor, it is to easy for Satan to detract us from worship. If we have settled the conflict, that wont be able to distract us from complete 100% focus on God!
Now back to the above passage Matthew 18:15-17
1. Talk to the person who has done the offending! Vs. 15 as well as Matt 7:1-5
They may not even realize that they have offended you! Also, if you don't talk to them, what you say to others about them could turn into gossip (which is a sin). It is also sinful not to confront -- vs. 15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone." Jesus commanded it!
2. If the offender doesn't listen to you, get 2 or 3 others (preferably Pastors or Elders or Respect People of God) involved.
3. If the offender still doesn't listen, take it to the body of believers as a whole.
4. If they still don't listen, they are to be treated as Gentiles, meaning those not within the Body of Believers. (Yes, this is harsh, but they were given plenty of opportunity. However this doesn't excluded us from forgiving them, which we will talk about tomorrow.)
Quick recap!
1. Check our own heart!
2. Confront before we worship...and if we are living a life of worship...that should be as soon as possible!
3. If they don't listen one-on-one get a few others involved, and last step the whole body.
Tomorrow.....Forgiveness!
In Christ,
David
posted by Mark 1:17 at 11:15 AM
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